Let the ride begin! I love a good solid two-parter and the first half was BANANAS.

Well Clara, I am pretty sure that is a huge lie. A huge, VERY smart and clever lie. LIE FO YO LIFE CLARA.

I am super excited. Can you tell how excited I am? This is why I’m not allowed to watch with people.

Of course the human race is taking pictures with the Cybermen. Because they remember NOTHING. Missy: Me & mah boys! We’re going viral!

Well, that was quick! Good job whatsherface! What is her face? I sadly cannot remember, but she has great taste in accessories. Hello Stewart. I like your swagger.

Stewart: Haircut? Doctor: Bit of a trim. Stewart: Might want to redo your roots. Oh, this is quick. I don’t know if I will be able to keep up tonight. I should put on some coffee (and closed captioning).

I am literally having to pause and think. I can’t keep up. Stewart: We have him on the payroll. Hehe.

Oh Missy, you just look so smug. You were such a bad hottie as the Master. I am not sure I like the Master being a Mistress. It doesn’t really roll off the tongue for me.

Cybermen pollinate the earth? Oh, I can’t wait for this explanation.

DANNY, I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR B-STORY. Unless you’re about to be the badass I know you can be.

Umm, why would you do that? Why would you knock the Doctor out when some really, really bad shit is about to go down. I mean I have seen the Earth in some perilous conditions, but even I have NO idea how they are going to get out of this one.

I don’t care who you are, that is just freaky. They were dead and now they are covered in metal. Again, brilliant plan Master… but also very disturbing. Poor Danny Pink. Still don’t care, but I like that you retained the feelings.

Dude, why you are being a dick Doctor? That little man was so nice. Be nice.

Oh well that would make my tea go down the wrong wind pipe. Fantastic little twist. Mr. President Doctor. The President of Earth. Fantastic.

HOLY SHIT. I care Danny. I CARE. You made me cry about a Cyberman looking sad because his human GF said she was the best liar ever. For that, Danny Pink, you are now my 3rd favorite “badass” male companion.

Oh adorable… I love the little invite he just gave the bow tie girl. She is fairly quick and clever. Always has been.

Why drop her off at a graveyard Danny? That’s just creepy.

Haha “Hey Missy you’re so fine. You‘re so fine you blow my mind, hey Missy!” 

Oh, Missy is Bananas as SHIT. YOU KILLED BOWTIE GIRL. I liked her you cunt! Man, I don’t even LIKE you now. She was not just collateral damage. I think you have truly pissed the Doctor off now.

Oh jeez, I haven’t cried this much while watching Doctor Who since the Ponds goodbye.

CLARA You are THE WORST when it comes to Danny Pink. You don’t even deserve undead Danny Pink! I was down on Danny because I’ve always believed a companions S.O. has to be amazing and great like the companion. Even Mickey rose up to the challenge but now I understand, Danny was never the one who needed to be amazing. Clara is. JEEZ for a second could you not go on and on about the damn Doctor and have some remorse over your dead boyfriend.

Sidenote: Danny looks freaky as shit. Please put the Cyberman face back on.

I am ASTOUNDED. I can’t even keep a straight face. She just completely offs Stewart. Then she’s all like “Blow up Belgian. I mean might as well. They aren’t even French. Byeee!” Haha holy shit Missy is so fucking hysterically crazy. I LOVE this actress. Part of me doesn’t even care what happens… oh wait, what is the Doctor doing?

Permission to squee! *is immediately killed by Missy* hahaha

Oh, well that was fast. Back to being a dick, eh Danny? I don’t know why, but all of his Doctor/General accusations just make him sound like the nagging self-victim. It’s annoying.  Where’s Missy? “I mean they aren’t even French. Hehe.”

I know this is supposed to make me sad about Danny and Clara but I literally don’t care. I cared and then Danny acted like a dick about the Doctor trying to save A WHOLE WORLD of people and now I’m all like YAY Missy is coming back in a Mary Poppin styled entrance!

I’m just not sure how I feel about the Doctor kissing Missy. I mean… I know that’s not the point of the ending, but… that was weird. Also, Danny being the commander-in-chief over Cybermen was odd. He will never hurt Clara and Missy was all pouty in the background. I kind of feel like that was a bit of a cop-out. Love is a promise? I’m so confused. Also all those people still died. Like bowtie girl. Never forget.

Wait, did Missy get killed or did she transport somewhere? Cause that’s totally what it looked like.

Wait the bracelet let Missy transport from world to world and through time and Danny used it to bring the boy back from the dead? The boy we JUST barely learned about in the last episode? I mean, yes of course Danny would do something like that, but it’s not like that boy has been talked about for episodes or anything. He literally could’ve not existed in this two parter and Danny could’ve come back.

Missy was lying and he is PISSED. So why is he lying to Clara? So she can be okay with Danny. Danny, who doesn’t exist. Two friends lying to each other thinking it will make the other happy. So sad. He’s got no home to go to and she’s got no love at home.

Haha and then they bring in Santa.

Like most Doctor Who two-parters the 2nd part was a bit of a letdown. I feel very conflicted and confused and it’s going to take me a while to digest all the things.


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